Unser Bewusstsein öffnen (2009)

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

Nathan Algren is an American hired to instruct the Japanese army in the ways of modern warfare, which finds him learning to respect the samurai and the honorable principles that rule them. Pressed to destroy the samurai's way of life in the name of modernization and open trade, Algren decides to become an ultimate warrior himself and to fight for their right to exist.

Gru is recruited by the Anti-Villain League to help deal with a powerful new super criminal.

The story of an ancient war that is reignited when a young farmhand unwittingly opens a gateway between our world and a fearsome race of giants. Unleashed on the Earth for the first time in centuries, the giants strive to reclaim the land they once lost, forcing the young man, Jack into the battle of his life to stop them. Fighting for a kingdom, its people, and the love of a brave princess, he comes face to face with the unstoppable warriors he thought only existed in legend–and gets the chance to become a legend himself.

In small-town Texas, affable and popular mortician Bernie Tiede strikes up a friendship with Marjorie Nugent, a wealthy widow well known for her sour attitude. When she becomes controlling and abusive, Bernie goes to great lengths to remove himself from her grasp.

Snow White asks the seven dwarfs for help, because if they don't manage to find out the name of a little boy (Rumpelstiltskin) within two days, her newborn child will be taken away from her. The journey takes the dwarves to a depressive, rhyming Pinocchio and the omniscient wizard Helge, among others, and all the way to the world of humans.

David Wozniak is a perpetual adolescent who discovers that, as a sperm donor, he has fathered 533 children. He is advised that more than 100 of his offspring are trying to force the fertility clinic to reveal the true identity of "Starbuck," the pseudonym he used when donating his sperm. To make matters worse, his girlfriend Valérie is pregnant with his child, but doesn't feel that he is mature enough to be a father.

For Ted, prom night went about as bad as it’s possible for any night to go. Thirteen years later, he finally gets another chance with his old prom date, only to run up against other suitors including the sleazy detective he hired to find her.

When a lottery winner dies of shock, his fellow townsfolk attempt to claim the money.

Cobb, Arthur and Nash are enlisted by Cobol Engineering.